grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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