I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
