so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
