That's intense
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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