Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
