Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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