Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
