I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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