i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
