My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
