I'm going to jail i love you
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
