just come out here and I will go home with you...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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