remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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