textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
