Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
