he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
