I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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