When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
