I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
