why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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