I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
