Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
