just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize