They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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