I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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