How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
