The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
