honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
