your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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