With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can I color on your dick again?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
