She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
