He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
