its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
