On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
