is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
