So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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