i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
