Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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