why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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