cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am one with the molecules
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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