Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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