Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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