Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
