That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
