Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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