Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
