you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
