Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
