Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
