Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
