Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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